From its inaugural day on the 17th of October 2018, International Pronouns Day has continued to grow year by year across the globe as we continue to build a more inclusive society for all; and as such it is a day that we are proud to recognise and celebrate.
In recent years, we have seen significant debate and discussion in the media and online about the use and importance of personal pronouns, and the effect and impact these have on the lives of those around us including friends and colleagues. Despite what many tabloids say about personal pronouns, these aren’t new and have been around for hundreds of years. We all use pronouns in our everyday lives to identify and describe people and/ or their possessions.
A pronoun is a word that takes the place of a noun. For example: ‘he’, ‘she’, ‘it’, ‘they’, ‘someone’, ‘who’. Pronouns can do all of the things that nouns can do. They can be subjects, direct objects, indirect objects, an object of the preposition, and more.
Describing people as ‘he’ or ‘she’, groups of people as ‘they’ or ‘them’, as well as inanimate things as ‘it’ is something we all do every day. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. What some people may not know is that there are many valid pronouns in existence, with their use becoming increasingly common. This would include the use of the singular ‘hir’ or ‘ze’. An extensive list of pronouns commonly used in English speaking countries is available on the non-binary wiki.
As a society, we make assumptions; if we see someone come in from outside soaking wet, we would usually assume it’s raining; if we saw a couple holding hands, we would assume they are in a relationship. Unsurprisingly, people often make assumptions about the gender of another person based on a variety of factors including their name, voice, appearance and so on. It is important to remember and reinforce that assumptions and stereotypes are not always correct, and the act of making an assumption (no matter if it is correct) can send a harmful message – this includes reinforcing the stereotype that people need to look or act a certain way to demonstrate a gender that they are or are not.
Using neutral pronouns means we don’t associate the person we’re talking about with a specific gender. Sex does not pre-determine a person’s gender and many people’s gender doesn’t sit comfortably with the sex they were assigned at birth. The easiest way to learn what pronouns someone uses is just to politely ask them, “Hey, what pronouns do you use?”. It might take some getting used to, but it causes you no harm and using the right pronouns for someone will make them feel acknowledged and validated.
How can you take the lead?
When at work, you can take the lead by saying your personal pronouns when you introduce yourself at the start of a meeting. Not only will this encourage your colleagues to do the same, but it will help everyone get used to talking about pronouns, which will help trans or non-binary individuals feel more comfortable to do the same. It is now common in many inclusive spaces to start the meeting with a ‘pronoun-around’ (this is where attendees go round the room and introduce themselves and their personal pronouns (Example: “Hello, my name is Luke, I’m a Department Social Media Coordinator within SSA. My Pronouns are He/Him.”) so that everyone can share their desired personal pronouns with the group. This is still important with groups that meet regularly as an individual may have changed their personal pronouns. It is important to also remind attendees that sharing their personal pronouns is optional, not compulsory.
Including personal pronouns in your email signature
Including personal pronouns in email signatures is another great way to show that you and your team is committed to trans equality:
- This helps people respectfully refer to one another.
- It helps colleagues avoid mistakes, like misgendering someone which can be especially hurtful for people but also incredibly embarrassing.
- It can be a great tool for visibly demonstrating trans and non-binary allyship both internally across the University and externally.
If you want to start including personal pronouns in your email signatures, here are some practical steps for how you can do this:
- Communicate that you are going to start including pronouns in email signatures, speak to colleagues and your team and explain to them the reason why. (You could send them a link to this blog post)
- Including personal pronouns in email signatures should be encouraged, but not made compulsory as not everyone may feel comfortable sharing their personal pronouns. There are many different reasons for this. This should also be remembered when verbally introducing personal pronouns at the start of meetings – don’t push colleagues into providing you with an answer.
- You could also include a link to this blog post or a webpage that gives a definition of pronouns. (For example: “Pronouns: She/ Her”)
Example: Incorporating personal pronouns into your email signature
Other areas where you can include personal pronouns:
- In your Twitter bio
- In your Zoom name – add this to your surname in settings to ensure it always appears for every meeting without you needing to manually change it.
- Event passes – add an open text field section in your registration form
- Name stickers
- Presentation slides
- Add a pronouns badge to your lanyard
Example: Incorporating personal pronouns into your name on Zoom
Intentionally using the wrong personal pronouns for someone repeatedly is a hurtful form of misgendering and can have a significant impact.
It’s important to note that we’re human and we all make mistakes, and that’s okay! If you get someone’s personal pronouns wrong, quickly apologise and correct yourself. You can also show solidarity with someone who uses personal pronouns that others may mistake by politely correcting someone who has used the wrong personal pronoun even when the person isn’t there. (Example: You are talking about someone who goes by “he/him” pronouns. “She is a great student. I’m sorry, I meant to say he is a great student. He’s been reading all of the assignments very thoroughly and it’s been a pleasure to work with him.”)
If you use a personal pronoun that some people may not automatically assume for you, please remember to not compromise on them. Ask people to use them. Everyone who cares about you and wants to be part of your life will get there.
During this piece, we have regularly referred to “personal” pronouns. To avoid doubt, we wanted to state that we do not mean that individuals’ pronouns are private or something to be kept a secret (generally this is not the case); we are stating that these pronouns are referring to one individual – it is still okay and regular practice to continue using pronouns without the use of “personal”. It’s also worth remembering that the phrase ‘preferred pronouns’ is no longer used – terms like this make it sound like someone’s gender is up for debate.
We all have a part to play in building a more inclusive society for all, and small but great steps like normalising the use of and sharing personal pronouns can make a difference. Over the coming months, Hallam LGBT+ Staff Network will be working on a series of Network and Allies resources and training to be shared across the University.
Further information can be found on Stonewalls The Truth About Trans page and the My Pronouns and International Pronouns Day websites. For help, support and guidance, please email lgbt@shu.ac.uk.