What’s Your Story? Following the Yellow Brick Road: Volunteering at the Pinknic

6 Nov

Guest post by James Barnett, Administrator in HWB’s Professional and Technical Services

Early in the summer I saw an advert on Gay Sheffield’s Facebook page. Volunteers were needed to steward at an event called “the Pinknic”. Something (divine intervention?) told me that I should get in touch. After a couple of e-mails with Nell Stockton of LGBT Sheffield, I had volunteered to steward for a couple of hours during the afternoon. I had not been to any sort of LGBT event before and now it was time to become visible.

Perhaps you are asking (if you’ve got that far) why, at the age of 36, I hadn’t been to an event like this before? In honesty, I don’t think I was proud of my sexuality. I was out, had gay friends, boyfriends and talked openly about it. Inside however, beneath this veneer of “outness” was a core of unacceptance shaped by a childhood where being gay was seen as negative. This core had left me with an internal struggle between who I was and who I thought I ought to be. After a period of serious depression and anxiety at the end of 2014, I spent time overcoming this internal struggle and then wanted to embrace the new part of me that I had set free. Volunteering at the Pinknic was my first step on this new road tarmaced with self-acceptance (sometimes called yellow brick….). Where would the road lead? Would the skies be blue? Would troubles melt like lemon drops?

First stop on my journey was the Peace Gardens in Sheffield on a sunny afternoon in late June. “The Pinknic” featured a main staging area in the centre of the gardens and many stalls spreading out from there. There were a range of entertainments that included performances by local musicians, DJ sets and activities such as a dog show and group exercise session. Stalls were varied between organisations such as LGBT Sheffield and others selling things such as make-up, cakes, pies and candles.

I arrived at 2pm for a briefing at the LGBT Sheffield gazebo and was made to feel welcome by the team. I was issued with a high visibility jacket (just what the doctored ordered?), a bottle of water (it was a hot day!) and collecting box. I made my way into the Peace Gardens with trepidation – I felt nervous; self-conscious. After a period of wanting to run off! I gained confidence and was soon asking for donations from anyone I came across. There was a lovely atmosphere and it felt good to be there. I chatted freely to people and found out about SIGNAL, the LGBT network that was being run in my workplace, Sheffield Hallam University. I’ve now joined the network and in the four months since the Pinknic, I’ve made many more LGBT contacts.

I enjoyed the day and finished it sitting in the sun eating an ice cream. Not quite Dorothy’s idea of utopia but I felt quite satisfied all the same.